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Oh, Mother

Are these parents quirky or crazy? You decide!
Aug 16, 2013
10:47 AM

My Lil' Yuppie Flash Cards Teach Kids Life's Finer Things

This game is one of the newest items in a 'baby bling' phenomenon that's spiraled out of control. Spoiling your children just got educational.

My Lil' Yuppie Flash Cards Teach Kids Life's Finer Things

Does your child know what a chauffer looks like? Time to teach her! With the My Lil' Yuppie flash card game, your kid can learn about the important things in life. Now, when she sees a lowly man in a cap and suit opening the door for the person who pays him, she'll be able to identify him as an inferior human being. Other flash card words include nanny, stock portfolio, yacht, private jet and beach house.

The nanny card is priceless: On the picture side, a blond woman with a nice rack and a healthy butt pushes a stroller. I imagine yuppie parents will quiz their children by flipping the cards while asking questions like:

"Who takes you on walks?"


"Who tucks you in at night?"


"Who's having an affair with daddy?"


It's the perfect preparation of what's to come. Every parent needs cards like this to teach their kids about the imperative items that keep WASPs and yuppies afloat, like luxury goods and caviar. I suggest a new name: Snob in a Box: Everything You Need to Teach Your Kid the Art of Pretension.

As a gag-gift for a baby shower, this card game would be hilarious; a friend pointing out to another the pitfalls of overindulgence – one of those "yeah-yeah we get the point" type of jokes. Perfect for the soon-to-be parents who've already gotten their kid a crystal-encrusted pacifier. I can even picture someone on the opposite end of the spectrum seeing this as an opportunity to present their not-so-affluent friend with a little hope of moving up in the world, thanks to a kid who's well-versed in the vocab of the super-rich. What concerns me is the notion that not all parents will take this game as a joke.

The term "yuppie" once meant (y)oung (u)rban (p)rofessional + (pie), but it now denotes a manner of immodesty. These flash cards are not the root of all evil, but they do perpetuate the separation of classes – and the idea that what you buy makes you special or elite. It's not wrong to teach your kids about your lifestyle, what you like, the things you do. But it's hard not to wonder if setting them up with this arsenal of words at a young age might skew expectations – or attitudes – down the road.

Judgment aside? These cards are a riot. Just pray that whoever buys them knows they're a trendy joke, far from reality.

Dec 13, 2013 04:17 am
 Posted by  Sean Scullin

I'll make sure my kids only get toy guns this year. No flash cards with Nanny's because that definitely is not something I want them to be surrounded with. Do you know where I can find a Barbie and Ken doll for my daughter without the red drop top corvette? I don't want my daughter thinking that every guy is a model and drives around a $75K corvette in dockers and sandals. I was thinking I would put Ken in a starter jacket, no cell phone just a pager and driving a 97' Grand Am.

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