Overcast   37.0F  |  Forecast »

Tips for Keeping Connected to Your Daughter

Many moms struggle to stay close with their daughters when they become teens. Here are nine ways moms can preserve this special bond.

Although my relationship with my young teen daughter is still very connected, I am conscious of looking for ways to maintain that bond, no matter what lies ahead. I know that my role as a parent is morphing from one of managing my daughter to more of a coaching or consulting role as she grows into adulthood. Throughout this metamorphosis, though, I never want to lose our link because even if our children claim otherwise, they need us and want our influence in their lives.

Here are nine tips from the trenches to help you preserve and strengthen your bond with your girl as she moves through this developmental phase.

1. Use your daughter's body clock changes to your advantage.

According to author and counselor Michael Riera, Ph.D., in his book, Staying Connected to Your Teenager, "Teenagers open up most naturally late at night, and wise parents take advantage of this reality." Maybe you can watch movies together late into the night. Or perhaps you can set your alarm and join her for a late impromptu chat when she is no longer busy with friends.

2. Are you avid readers?

Think about starting a mother daughter book club to capitalize on your love of literature as a way to have a shared experience. If coordinating a book club is too much, simply start reading the books that she is reading.

3. Practice gratitude together.

Consider starting a gratitude journal together. Give your daughter one page and you take the other and then read back to each other what you're thankful for. It can provide some great insight into her character.

4. Use humor and horseplay.

It's easy to get exasperated with things your kids say and lecture them. But if you turn it into something ridiculous or funny, they can laugh, then get it.

5. Try to assess her actions.

Just as your child was communicating to you when she had tantrums as a toddler, your teen is trying to say something with her "bad" behavior. Be careful to separate your disapproval of her actions from your approval of her as a person.

6. Find an activity to do together.

Take a yoga class together. Learn to make pottery. It doesn't matter. Just pick something you're both interested in and do it together.

7. Show some respect.

If you treat your kids with the same respect that you show adults, it comes back eventually. Although seemingly simple advice, this can be challenging when you are opposed to your daughter's choices. Try to respect her right to choose, even if you disagree with the choice.

8. Plan a mother daughter trip.

This does not have to break the bank, it can be as simple as a picnic, or a day trip to a new location. A change of scenery can lead to more relaxed or improved communication.

9. Counter any negative media messages about "horrible teens."

Remind your daughter of her accomplishments and support her as she practices becoming an adult with your guidance.

Add your comment:
Advertisement

More »Latest Articles & Blog Posts

Kids Call Parents by Their First Names

Kids Call Parents by Their First Names

They're ditching 'mom' and 'dad' and putting parents on a first-name basis instead. What's the deal with this trend?

Ghoulish Halloween Drinks for Kids

Ghoulish Halloween Drinks for Kids

You've got the candy and other snacks ready, but what about the beverages? Well, add a cup of 'scary' to your Halloween party with help from Martha Stewart, Pillsbury and more.

DIY Leaf Press Fall Fun Family Craft Project

DIY Leaf Press Fall Fun Family Craft Project

Harness a bit of autumn for your kids' next creative venture by making this handy contraption. Note that a drill is required, so be sure mom or dad helps.

Teal Pumpkins Raise Food Allergy Awareness on Halloween

Teal Pumpkins Raise Food Allergy Awareness on Halloween

Kids allergic to nuts, milk and more can look for pumpkins painted blue-green to find homes giving safe, non-edible treats, thanks to The Teal Pumpkin Project.

Pumpkin Jars, Plates and Juice Box Cover Halloween Crafts

Pumpkin Jars, Plates and Juice Box Cover Halloween Crafts

So simple they're scary! Check out these three orange DIY projects in time for fright night – plus a cool Frankenstein handprint craft for good measure.

Roperti's Turkey Farm Sells Wild Turkeys for Thanksgiving

Roperti's Turkey Farm Sells Wild Turkeys for Thanksgiving

This Livonia landmark offers an alternative to the grocery store, selling 4,000 turkeys in just four days. Peek at our chat with the 'turkey lady'.

Holiday Baby Survival Guide

Holiday Baby Survival Guide

Does your due date correspond with the holiday season? Here are some wise ways to enjoy the season with your newborn – and avoid unnecessary stress.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement