The division of labor in a relationship can be the root of many arguments – and, too frequently, mom is expected to do more than dad around the house.
Some women argue that even in households where men want to do more to help, there is an expectation that they’ll be told what needs to be done – earning moms the title of “household manager.” So, to help their relationships and finish the work that needs to be done, some couples are resorting to writing out and signing parenting and household agreements.
The agreements are being praised by both married couples looking to even out the shared responsibilities of one household, and separated couples looking for ways to evenly divide time spent with their children.
Every method is different – some parents don’t figure out their system until their second child and others put the plan into place while they are still pregnant with their first. Some create simple chore charts and others create 16-page documents with caveats for allotted personal time, how to handle family trips and more.
Whatever their methods, parents who are drafting “baby-nups” are reporting positive results.
New York based PureWow lifestyle writer Rachel Bowie and her husband Matt Dorville told reporters for CBS2 New York that creating a chore chart was just another way of staying organized.
“The idea is to have some kind of order so on the weekend if you have 10 minutes you can be like, ‘I’m going to make the bed,'” Rachel told reporters.
While Bowie jokes that the couple may have to switch to a dry-erase board to rearrange who does what every now and then, the system so far has worked for them.
Having a contract may seem extreme, and if you feel like the labor in your relationship is fairly divided without one, then it may seem like a waste of time. However, if you feel like you’re doing the brunt of the work, then at least have a conversation about how to better split the work (and don’t discount outsourcing chores).
And if the conversation doesn’t help, well, maybe grab some dry-erase boards or legal pads and begin creating your chore charts and baby-nups.
Would you ever consider a drafting a “baby-nup” with your partner? Tell us why or why not in the comments.