Make-believe was a hallmark of kids’ games a generation or two ago – playing “house” and “restaurant” or racing Big Wheels around the neighborhood until sunset. Sure, we watched TV – but there was always a limit, a time to turn it off and go “find something to do.”
Today’s children aren’t quite as lucky. Yet scientists maintain the importance of play in child development. Free play for kids is critical for becoming socially adept, coping with stress and building cognitive skills like problem-solving. If it goes extinct, experts say childhood – and society – will pay a high price.
So why has free play languished, and how can you rekindle it with your kids?
Costly consequences
“There is a definite danger to the trend of suppressing children’s imaginative play,” says Susan Gartenberg, former director of the Gan Shalom Parenting Center and Preschool at Congregation Beth Shalom in Oak Park. “If children cannot play and create when they are 3, 4, 5, how do they learn to interact with others when in high school and adulthood? How do they develop the concepts of problem-solving, sensitivity and empathy?”
According to a 2005 paper published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, children’s free-play time dropped by 25 percent between 1981 and 1997. That’s largely because parents are so concerned about positioning their children to gain acceptance to good colleges, they sacrifice early childhood free time to give them a head-start.
Studies show that children use more sophisticated language when playing with other children as compared to when they play with adults. Play helps children develop strong social skills, communication skills and actually makes them smarter in the way that inspires creative thinking.
Lack of play, on the other hand, impedes social development. Studies show that children with more opportunities for play in their early years are more socially adjusted later in life. They get along better with peers and navigate the world more successfully.
“Imaginative play is really the cornerstone of how children process and learn about the world,” says Susanna Hapgood, assistant professor in the Department of Curriculum and Instruction at the University of Toledo. “It’s tremendously important; it is truly foundational.”
Hapgood says that when we leave children alone in a safe environment to occupy their own time, we allow them the crucial to generate their own storylines and interact with one another.
“One of the most delightful things is to hear a very young child who may be crouching under a chair, surrounded by a few toys, and having those toys come to life under that chair as they’re making up this entire world,” Hapgood notes. “We probably aren’t focused on learning our letter names at that moment, but so much is happening in terms of inner life that’s really important. I worry that (without this freedom), they come to depend upon external forces to stimulate their minds.”
What has changed
“It turned out to be not so much the ‘academics’ we were adding but the time we subtracted from the children’s fantasy play that would make the difference,” says educational leader Vivian Paley in A Child’s Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play. “We blamed television for making children restless and distracted, then substituted an academic solution that compounded restlessness and fatigue.”
A big mistake, she says, is making kindergarten academic. When it was pretend-focused, Paley says, “first-grade teachers could take their time beginning formal lessons. The earlier we begin academics, the more problems are revealed.”
One reason for reduced play time today is more parents are working, and they’re working longer hours – resulting in the need for children to spend before- and after-school time in structured, safe programs. Coupled with that is the fact that many modern parents opt to enroll their younger children in highly academic, structured programs in the hope it will give their kids an educational edge.
Why play still matters
It’s all with good intentions, of course. But without the necessary freedom to explore the world early on, children may gain advancement in academics at a cost of losing interpersonal, social and emotional coping skills.
“In school and in the home, we’ve become overly goal-oriented and we’re losing the process for the product,” says Aviva Dorfman, an associate professor of Early Childhood Education at the University of Michigan-Flint. “By imposing testing as a means of finding out what children know, we are preferencing certain kinds of thinkers and leaving others out.”
Dorfman says the same is true of the highly structured nature of children’s lives.
“All these activities are wonderful, but if you overly structure children’s lives, they don’t learn control,” she says. “They don’t have the opportunity to develop their own interests, to follow their own inspiration – to experience the competence of conceiving an idea, initiating it and following it through.”
A study from the Alliance for Childhood shows extreme aggressive behavior in children is exhibited today more than ever before. Coincidence? Nope.
The research illuminates three universal truths:
- Childhood play is crucial for social, emotional and cognitive development.
- Imaginative free play – as opposed to games and structured activities – is the most essential kind of childhood play.
- Kids who do not play when they are young grow into anxious, socially maladjusted adults.
Reprioritizing play
The kind of play is as important as the amount of time doing it. Encouraging “open-ended toys” – which don’t focus or stifle a child’s imagination – is key.
More and more toys are “licensed” products of popular culture (movies and TV shows), stifling the imaginations of children who use them. Experts say these items limit the possibilities of imaginative play as opposed to open-ended, take-them-anywhere-you-want toys like blocks, clay and art supplies.
It’s also key that kids have frequent chances to play outdoors – safely, of course. Being in nature is restorative, invigorating and nurturing, says Dorfman.
This doesn’t nix mom and dad. Kids need and want adults – especially their parents – to play with them (perhaps you can build a fort together?). Just not with a structured, “do-it-this-way” approach.
Let the child lead, says Gartenberg: “Dress up in costumes, role play and perform. Take cues from the children.
“Whatever parents play should be open-ended and nonjudgmental – no winner, no right, no wrong,” she adds. “Make up stories and games in the car when traveling from school to home. Hide the cell phone. Look into your child’s eyes when playing or communicating.”
Get involved with your kids’ sports, too, whether coaching or volunteering. When you exercise, involve your children, so it becomes a family effort. Making meals is also a prime time to explore; let children plan dinner and give them opportunities to make up recipes. Trial and error is one of the best ways of learning.
The long view
“Children will learn technology,” Gartenberg says. “Now, they need to learn to laugh and to share. Texting and emails and Internet activity need to be monitored carefully. Parents should find childcare that emphasizes more than academics – a place that includes physical activity and lots of opportunity for play.”
Starting early to play with your children – and making it free-wheeling and open-ended – not only helps your kids. You’ll benefit, too.
“Children who see parents as fun-loving, communicative adults will continue communicating with them as they grow into teens,” says Gartenberg. “Hopefully, as children learn to interact and play appropriately, they also will learn to stick up for each other and defy the bully and help others feel accepted.”
This post is updated regularly.
