For kids with autism, everyday household responsibilities can be a powerful way to build confidence, life skills and a stronger connection with their family.
Still, many parents hesitate. They may wonder if they should expect their child with autism to help with laundry, make their bed or feed the cat. (Short answer: Yes!)
“I do ask parents about this, but I don’t use the word ‘chore’ because it has that negative connotation,” says Dr. Tisa Johnson-Hooper, Pediatrician and Medical Director at Henry Ford Health’s Generational Resilience, Opportunity and Wellness (GROW) Center for Autism and Intellectual/Developmental Disabilities.
Instead, Dr. Johnson-Hooper and Sarah Peterson, Lead BCBA and Manager of the Henry Ford Health Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities, reframe the concept: what contributions to the family can your child make that also help them feel capable, included and important?
It’s never too early or too late to start. The key is making it manageable, meaningful, and matched to your child’s abilities.
Start small, adapt as needed
Kids as young as 4 can begin contributing to family life in simple ways.
- If you’re teaching dishwashing, Peterson suggests breaking it down:
- Start by bringing the plate to the sink.
- Next time, continue by putting the plate in the sink.
- Progress to filling the sink with water, and so on. Each layer builds confidence.
Parent tip: Start with one small part of a task. It could be as simple as pouring pre-measured dog food into a bowl.
Set expectations for all your kids
Some parents worry about asking too much of a child with autism. If yogurt spills, Peterson suggests asking yourself if you’d expect your other child to help clean it up?
“If the answer is yes, then your child with autism can help too,” she says. “They may just need more support.” It’s not about equal expectations — it’s about having expectations for everyone, adjusted to each child’s needs.
Parent tip: Everyone contributes, but how they do it will look different for each child.
Chores are learning tools
“Parents are often so focused on academic achievement, they can fall short of looking at self-reliance skills,” says Dr. Johnson-Hooper, “But knowing how to cook, clean, do laundry — those are the skills that truly support long-term independence.”
Fortunately, household tasks reinforce academic skills, too:
- Sorting laundry teaches color recognition.
- Measuring dog food builds math skills.
- Wiping down a table helps with gross motor development.
- Setting the table helps pattern recognition.
“These are skills that help kids succeed in everyday life,” says Peterson. “They’re not extra — they’re essential.”
Parent tip: Everyday tasks can double as skill-builders — think color sorting, simple math or fine motor strength.
Make it fun
“No kid ever said, ‘Can I please do more work?’” says Dr. Johnson-Hooper. “You’ve got to make it engaging.”
Turn on music, race to finish a task, or use timers. Narrate what you’re doing and show enjoyment. Your attitude sets the tone.
Parent tip: Model joy! Use music, games, and humor to boost buy-in and reduce resistance.
Let go of perfection
“Focus on the fact that they’re learning, not how clean it is,” says Peterson. “You can always wipe the table later.”
The goal isn’t a spotless room — it’s helping your child build life skills and confidence.
“Are you aiming for a clean kitchen or a capable child?” asks Dr. Johnson-Hooper.
Parent tip: Celebrate effort, not execution. A “good enough” job is a big step forward.
Real stories, real growth
Peterson recalls working with a child who loved the family dog. Learning to feed the dog built responsibility and engagement. Another teen who started helping in the kitchen is now launching a dog treat business.
These contributions, however small, can grow into real independence.
Parent tip: Start with what interests your child — pets, water or anything hands-on are great entry points.
How you can get started
“Stop seeing your child as limited by their disability,” says Dr. Johnson-Hooper. “Start seeing where they can grow. Their potential is often far beyond what we give them credit for.”
With time and support, kids with autism can gain the skills they need to thrive — and contribute meaningfully to family life.
This content is sponsored by Henry Ford Health. Learn more at henryford.com.
Read more articles like this at Metro Parent’s Your Top Kids Health Questions — Answered!
