Like many moms, Casandra Olbrys juggled the expectations of parenthood with the pressure to hold it all together. When life felt overwhelming, she reached for a glass of wine to unwind.
Then it became the whole bottle. Then a bigger bottle. Then every day.
“At first, it was five o’clock — that was my time to have a drink,” she recalls. “But then five became three, and three became noon. Eventually, I was drinking all day just to feel normal.”
The breaking point came after a heavy day of drinking when her family stepped in with love and concern. Her mom, grandmother, and aunt sat her down. “It felt like an attack at first,” she says. “But deep down, I knew it was coming from a place of love.”
Casandra entered an intensive outpatient program (IOP), choosing that path so she could stay close to her children. “I didn’t want to go inpatient and leave my kids,” she says. “IOP was four days a week, four to five hours a day, and it was exactly what I needed.”
Now, six years into her recovery, Casandra works as a Peer Recovery Coach at Sacred Heart in Madison Heights. She supports people in metro Detroit with substance use disorder by offering something she never found until she reached her lowest point: connection.
“I’m not their therapist or doctor. I’m someone who’s been there,” she says. “And I’m honest about what that looked like — even the ugly parts.”
Holiday sobriety tips for parents
The holiday season, she knows, can be especially hard for people in recovery. Casandra offers a few ways to get through it with your sobriety and peace of mind intact:
- Plan ahead. “There’s a phrase in recovery: play the tape through. If I drink, how will I feel after? What will I have to apologize for? What will I regret? Is it worth it?”
- Set boundaries. “If you don’t want to go to something, you don’t have to. If you’re dreading it or already planning to complain, just say no.”
- Bring support. “If your family isn’t supportive, ask a sober friend to come with you. Or let someone know you’ll be texting during the event. You don’t have to do it alone.”
- Start a new tradition. “I used to drink while wrapping Christmas gifts. Now I put on an old holiday movie. It’s simple, but it helps. Create something that feels good.”
How to know when substance use is a problem
For people wondering if their use is getting out of hand, Casandra encourages tuning in closely. “If you’re asking yourself, ‘Do I have a problem?’ — you probably do,” she says. “For me, the biggest red flag was all the justification. Saying I’d only drink on weekends, then making an exception for Wednesday because I had a bad day. That’s a sign.”
She speaks with empathy because she’s heard so many similar stories. And she knows that for people deep in the struggle, hope can feel impossible. “That’s when I hold the hope for them,” she says. “They might not see a way out, but I do. And I’ll help them take one small step.”
Those small steps add up. “Maybe it’s making a dentist appointment. Maybe it’s going outside for a walk. We break it down into daily goals so people can feel like they’re doing something. Over time, that’s what builds recovery.”
One day, one season at a time
Casandra encourages anyone who’s struggling this season to remember that feelings pass — and so do holidays. “Breathe through it. Make an exit plan if you need to. Text a friend. Call your sponsor. Whatever keeps you safe and steady.”
And if you’ve been thinking about making a change, she says, this is the perfect time.
“It’s the season of resolutions,” Casandra says. “If you’re thinking about sobriety, let this be your reason to start.”
If you or someone you love is struggling, reach out. For local support, call the OCHN Access line at 248-464-6363.
This content is sponsored by Oakland Community Health Network.
OCHN manages and funds a service provider network for approximately 30,000 Oakland County residents at more than 400 service sites across the county. People who receive public behavioral health services through OCHN’s provider network include those who have an intellectual or developmental disability, mental health concerns or substance use disorder. Most of these individuals have Medicaid insurance coverage.
OCHN’s goal is to ensure these individuals are aware of and have access to services and support that will improve their health and quality of life, as well as ensure their engagement in full community participation. Its mission to “inspire hope, empower people, and strengthen communities” reflects an unyielding belief in a “Valuable System for Valued People.”
Programs and supports provided by OCHN’s service network are available at oaklandchn.org.
