Staying Sober During the Holidays (Or Supporting Others in Recovery)

For those in recovery, staying sober during the holidays can be the biggest challenge of the year. An Oakland County expert shares her tips for success.

For people in recovery, holiday celebrations flowing with alcohol and other substances are risky places to be, says Gwendolyn Bammel, Manager of the Residential Substance Abuse Program at Ascension Eastwood Recovery Center in Southfield.

“Having those substances around can be a trigger,” says Bammel, who has been in recovery for 26 years. Alcohol and marijuana, which top the list of most-abused substances, are even more abundant this time of year.

What can you do if you or someone in your family is actively in recovery during the holidays? Start by being aware of the challenge, then communicate openly. “One of the things that is tremendously helpful is for those in recovery to share with their closest family members what it’s like for them,” Bammel says. 

Awareness can lead to shared sobriety and even substance-free gatherings where everyone is welcome. “Instead of being stressful, it can be a time when families make memories together and feel that support, love and connection,” she adds. Here are some other ways to embrace both recovery and the holidays this year:

Keep expectations in check

The image of a perfect holiday is hard to achieve, but when we lower expectations, we lower stress for everyone. This could mean those in recovery have less reason to use substances to cope.

Have a sober friend to rely on — or be that sober friend

Take a partner, friend or sponsor with you to gatherings as a sober buffer, or call someone who can offer healthy support after a stressful social event or family gathering. Make your own way to and from parties and even attend a meeting along the way. “There will be marathon meetings in your area for whatever recovery program you participate in, including 24/7 meetings on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year,” Bammel says. Offer to be a sober friend without being asked, simply because you want to support their recovery.

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Ask for what you need

This might be your first sober Thanksgiving — and you might really need your family around you. Ask for their active support. “It’s surprising the amount of support that can be there when we thought we would be judged. Recovery requires support and recognition and knowing that people are proud of us,” Bammel says. This applies to those who are “sober-curious” for healthier living or because they dislike lost time. “Being sober means you have time to do other fun things and be fully present for the holidays and make memories,” she adds.

Retreat to a safe space

“Here’s a lovely little technique: the bathroom is a safe place if you need to decompress from the family dynamics. Take five minutes. No one will miss you,” says Bammel.

Know when it’s time to go

Holiday gatherings don’t have to be an all-day adventure — and every family is messy to some extent. It’s easier to manage your emotions when you limit your exposure. “Focus on what’s good and what we can be grateful for,” Bammel says. “Thanksgiving can be the quintessential recovery holiday.”

OCHN manages and funds a service provider network for approximately 29,000Oakland County residents at more than 400 service sites across the county. People who receive public behavioral health services through OCHN’s provider network include those who have an intellectual or developmental disability, mental health concerns or substance use disorder. Most of these individuals have Medicaid insurance coverage.

OCHN’s goal is to ensure these individuals are aware of and have access to services and support that will improve their health and quality of life, as well as ensure their engagement in full community participation. Its mission to “inspire hope, empower people, and strengthen communities” reflects an unyielding belief in a “Valuable System for Valued People.”

Programs and supports provided by OCHN’s service network are available at oaklandchn.org.

Claire Charlton
Claire Charlton
An enthusiastic storyteller, Claire Charlton focuses on delivering top client service as a content editor for Metro Parent. In her 20+ years of experience, she has written extensively on a variety of topics and is keen on new tech and podcast hosting. Claire has two grown kids and loves to read, run, camp, cycle and travel.

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