10 Things I DON’T Want for Mother’s Day

Some women argue that you should be grateful for whatever you get on Mother's Day. I think that's a load of crap. Here are 10 gifts to avoid giving to the mother of your children.

This year I’ll be celebrating my second Mother’s Day. I must admit that I was incredibly disappointed on my first Mother’s Day. My son was only a few weeks old, so I was still recovering from giving birth, but we didn’t really do anything special to celebrate. Instead, my in-laws came over to visit after they went out for brunch. So not only did I not leave the house, or get to enjoy a nice meal or breakfast in bed, I had to semi-entertain other people on my first Mother’s Day.

As far my first Mother’s Day gift, my husband purchased an 80-minute massage for me to enjoy at a later date, so I had to cut him a bit of slack for a not-so-great day. After all, he knew I needed some relaxation after carrying and then pushing out our bundle of joy.

While a massage is always a nice gift for this mama on Mother’s Day, there are plenty of things I DON’T want to receive this May 13.

Here are 10 Mother’s Day gift no-nos.

Candy

One year after having my son, I’m still trying to shed the baby weight. And while I love candy, it’s not helpful to have it in the house.

Gym membership

Yes, I know I told you I don’t want candy because I haven’t lost the baby weight, but I don’t appreciate what you’re getting at here. You push a kid out and see how long it takes you to bounce back. And no, this isn’t how I want to spend “me time” but nice try.

Plant

I’m notorious for killing plants. And I already have to keep one thing alive now, so I don’t need another.

Card

Talk is cheap. You really want to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day? Empty the Diaper Genie, scoop the cat litter or let me sleep for a few hours without interruption.

IOU note

You won’t do any of these things, so please don’t promise me you’ll run errands, give me a foot rub or make dinner. Just DO it.

A cooking tool

Your hints are not clever. I get it. You want me to cook more. I’m doing the best I can.

A cleaning tool

See above. This is not a gift for me. It’s a gift for the household, so stop it.

“World’s Greatest Mom” mug

Or “World’s Greatest Mom” anything. I don’t need another mug. I don’t want a T-shirt. And it’s a weird gift coming from you. This should come from our child when he’s old enough (and I’ll fake excitement at that time).

Sex

I’m too tired. It’s more of a gift for you right now, so keep your hands and other parts to yourself, please.

Nothing

Yeah, you better do something to recognize the scariest, most draining, most awesome and exhilarating job I’ve ever had in my life.

So there you have it. Now, if you expect me to tell you what I DO want, well, you’re out of luck.

Which gift no-nos would you add to our list? Tell us in comments.

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