When transitioning to a big kid bed, toddlers often wake up multiple times at night. They might be scared or just want to test boundaries.
Early independent sleeping — ideally around 4 months — can help, according to information from Henry Ford Health, but every child is different. It’s essential to be patient and consistent in finding the best approach for your toddler.
Dr. Danelle Stabel, a pediatrician formerly affiliated with Henry Ford Health in Troy, shares tips to help toddlers stay in bed.
Originally, Dr. Stabel chatted with Kari Zaffarano, audience development coordinator with Metro Parent. Kim Kovelle, Metro Parent’s long-time content specialist, updated it in late 2024 with the latest information.
Set clear bedtime boundaries
Toddlers will try to get out of bed for almost anything — water, bathroom trips, or just another “goodnight” to the dog. Start by creating clear boundaries.
“Establish a bedtime routine,” Stabel says. “Have them go to bed at a particular time every night.
A routine, such as reading a story, signals bedtime and helps toddlers wind down.
Make your expectations clear
“Parents should tell kids what they expect,” says Stabel.
Use a consistent tone, and adjust if needed. “Some kids need a firm voice,” she ads. “Some kids, you can start off calm, and then, if they aren’t listening, you use a firmer (voice).”
Praise your child when they stay in bed
“Many kids respond well to praise and reinforcement,” Stabel says. “A simple, ‘Wow, you did so good last night’” comment of praise is a good start.
Avoid sweets before bed
Sweets like chocolate and candy can disrupt sleep. Especially avoid chocolate, which contains caffeine, and sugary snacks before bed, Livestrong notes.
Instead, offer a healthy snack and allow time for digestion — 30-60 minutes, ideally — before lights out.
Use incentives to motivate your toddler
Children tend to love rewards. Try some fun ideas that will get your child motivated.
“You could use a sticker chart for a visual incentive,” Stabel says. “Maybe a special date with a parent, getting a game, small toys or a trip to the store — try to get away from food incentives.”
Visual aids and calming colors
Clocks that change color when your child can get out of bed are a great tool. For example, one that looks like a stoplight turns green when it’s OK to leave the bed.
“They have control,” Stable says. “It gives them something to look at and anticipate.”
The National Sleep Foundation also suggests using dim red lights instead of blue lights in nightlights, as red light helps promote sleep by allowing melatonin production.
And try to avoid tablets and TV — which have blue wavelengths — an hour before bedtime.
Create a balance between being firm and comforting
Persistence is key, Stabel says. Sometimes, you may need to close the door or set up a gate to prevent your toddler from leaving their room.
However, it’s also important to comfort them when necessary, like after a nightmare.
“Around toddler age is when they start having nightmares and night terrors,” Stabel says.
That said, avoid letting them into your bed!
In fact, even going into their room every 15 minutes is better. It reinforces that they are safe and you’re nearby — without creating a habit of sleeping in your bed.
Your toddler will eventually settle and stay in bed. Remember, it takes time, patience and consistency.
Expertise from Henry Ford Health. Find more articles like this at Metro Parent’s Your Top Kids Health Questions — Answered!
