A top challenge for parents of children with autism is what experts call “maladaptive behavior,” aggressions that vary widely in severity from mild, like tantrums or throwing objects, to severe, including self-harm or physical aggression.
Though fairly common in children on the autism spectrum, not every child with autism is aggressive. “It’s not an expectation, but it certainly is not a surprise when we see kids that might have some aggressive behaviors,” says Dr. Jannel Phillips, a clinical neuropsychologist with Henry Ford Health.
Phillips works with children and adolescents with neurodevelopmental differences and neurological abnormalities. At Henry Ford Health’s Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities, she works with children with autism and their families.
We asked Phillips to share her expertise about why children with autism can be aggressive — and tips for managing this behavior. Here’s what you need to know.
2 key reasons why children with autism can be aggressive
- Underlying frustration: Often due to communication difficulties, frustration is a core trigger for aggressive behavior. Nonverbal children or those struggling with social cues may act out when misunderstood.
- Impulsivity: Especially in children with coexisting ADHD, impulsivity can increase the likelihood of aggressive responses, as these children may react without considering appropriate social behaviors.
Expert advice for managing your child’s aggressive behaviors
If your child is aggressive, it’s helpful to have support and resources. Here are some actionable tips and options for helping your child.
1. Start by assessing your own confidence in managing problematic behaviors.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you feel overwhelmed. Talk with your child’s primary care provider, who can give you a referral to a psychologist, if needed.
2. Keep track of when and where behaviors occur.
Are behaviors extending beyond your home environment? What frequency and intensity are you seeing? How do they impact your family dynamic? Document what you see in a journal.
3. Track “antecedents.”
Observe and note what happens immediately before an aggressive outburst. “Were they trying to communicate something? Was there an interaction with a sibling? Were they frustrated because of a change in routine?” asks Phillips. “Log these aggressive behaviors over the course of the week to see if there are trends or specific situations that seem to provoke an outburst.” This will help you get a better understanding of the “why” behind the behavior.
4. Ask yourself if you’re reinforcing a behavior (by mistake).
Every parent feels the stress of getting the shopping done without a meltdown. Giving in to repeated requests for a favorite item, like candy or gum, when you’ve already said no can lead to repeat performances. “What that reinforces is that your child knows that they don’t have to ask a couple of times. They skip right to the tantrum,” Phillips says.
5. Prepare your child for the behavior you expect to see.
Create and use scripts that remind your child to stay by your side, keep their hands to themselves, not open packages of cookies at the store and more. It’s OK to provide an incentive, such as a trip to the park or a small toy. “Every little bit counts and if that helps lessen some of the stress, I would say that’s a win,” she says.
6. Get professional support for moderate to severe aggression.
Work with a Board Certified Behavior Analyst for tailored guidance if your child is causing damage or self-harming.
7. Be consistent. Be calm.
When it’s safe, it’s OK to ignore situations. Maintain a calm, consistent response. Then, when your child engages in any sort of positive behavior, reinforce it excessively. “Positive reinforcement shapes more prosocial behavior. That’s the No.1 goal,” Phillips says.
Expertise from Henry Ford Health’s Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities. Find more articles like this at Metro Parent’s Your Top Kids Health Questions — Answered!